


To live a normal life? How unusual!

by Calico_Chatty



Category: Homestuck, Vast Error
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Characters get their powers via injury, Gore, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27200716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calico_Chatty/pseuds/Calico_Chatty
Summary: A crossover fic of 09Pyros_09Hydros' fic "To live a normal life? How preosterous!" and the webcomic vast error!They had much to do, now that she was A, a human. B, a superhero. And C, Really fucking concerned about what the actual fuck is going on here.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	1. and then I woke up at home

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [To Live a Normal Life? How preposterous!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11470704) by [09Pyros_09Hydros](https://archiveofourown.org/users/09Pyros_09Hydros/pseuds/09Pyros_09Hydros). 



> A few things to know if you haven’t read how preposterous:  
> •Both the VE cast and HS cast have been reincarnated into a humanstuck au  
> •The hiveswap trolls are still trolls but they are from beforus and spying on the planet  
> •John, Jake, Dave, Roxy, and Karkat have their memories from the game. They are superheroes called “the aspects“  
> •Rifts are when a giant tear in the sky brings in Enemies from the game onto earth.  
> •the aspects fight the Enemies as superheroes  
> •in the Original Fic it is implied that to regain ones memories you must be in serious danger. So that is what I’m using as a way to ‘wake up’ certain characters  
> •there is slight mention of injury for characters because of this  
> •that’s all! Hope you enjoy!

They had done, they had healed their universe. Hugs shared all around, The all mother satisfied, the naught father momentarily subdued. There was still much healing left of course. The depths were still the depths, the lusii still poisoned with the muck of trash and grime. Yes there was work, but there was still success to celebrate! Ellsee just needs to **g̮̰͎͕̣ͣ̐ͤ̒ͦr̐̄ͥab̺̫̳̯͉͚̏̾̄ͭͯͫ ͦͧ͂tͦȟ̦͎̤̗̤̮̏̃̑̔͋͟ę̫̟ͦ̓ d̟̋o͎͎̼̮͚̖õ̴͎̮̥͑̋r̫͙͉̤̈ͫͥ̚ ͂k͉n̐ͪ̓͞ơ͔͍̫̏ͯ̅b̺̼̥͚̯̜̑̽͐̂͛̋…**

_______

_Hope was dying, He was dying, God he was dying. And what was he doing? Saving lives. Fuck. Well it sure as hell aint gonna be just. He asks for blood to lean down._

_‘What?! WHY?! I-i DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!’ Blood screams. Everyone can hear it. But he leans down._

_‘Ka-ayden,’ he sutter out._

_‘What Ross? WHAT?!’ the pain he is put in at this moment is excurciating, his final wors._

_‘I love you’ and he is gone_

He closes out of the word document, “my god Ellsee, Stop making me beta read your fanfiction, and _ Ross _ ? Really?” Arcjec turns to look at his sister from across the room. “There's so many goddamn spelling errors, you're writing this on  _ word _ for christ's sake!” Ellsee raises her shoulders in an awkward shrug.

She hastily pointed to the clock. “Wellllllll, It's 5am Arcjec! I'm not at my best! Don’t judge!” She crosses her arms.

“Then why are you writing it, at 5am!” He pointed out aggressively.

“Well why are you awake at 5am! Huh!”

He glares at her and sighs “Fix your fucking spelling errors then i’ll beta again” he gets up from his seat and heads back to his room. 

Ellsee sits down at her computer. and puts on a playlist.  _ “ _ _ It's not unusual to be loved by anyone.  _ _ It's not unusual to have fun with anyone!” _

They love this song.

_______

EO: New ChaptΣr up!

UK: >([Jokes on u i already uploaded last nig#t]

EO: Goddammit! >:(

DQ: Stop*using*the*emergency*memo*for*fanfic*updates*please

UK: >([No]

EO: AgrΣΣd

AH: XDXD i wish nothing but griebous harm on the both of you XDXD

UK: >([griebous]

EO: griΣbous

WA: griebous-

FF: g griebous 

SA: (griebous)

DQ: not*too*you

PE: ~griebous

AH: XDXD You’re supposed to be on my side XDXD

PD: griebous

AH: XDXD I was wondering when you’d show up XDXD

ME: gahsdgvurefseirkuawe8ufihv

ME: dklwerjbuvwaqwesrswxd854516582

ME: 8954utqugvsndmwied

ME: R.o.gi

ME: again

EO: say no morΣ

UK: >([U need to keep ur cat under control]

UK: >([My salamander never does this]

FF: g get a furby

FF: t they aren't as t tame, but t they definitely d don’t get onto the k keyboard as often

WA: or a dog-

WA: woof-

SA: (cooperi rarely gets on my keyboard, but i would recommend getting a fish)

GS: Would not recommend. Especially angler fish.

SA: (what about goldfish?)

GS: Nobody ever takes good care of them! They can live well over a decade yet everyone gives them poor living conditions!

GS: I have a Text post about it on my tumblr.

FF: I f fry my fish with m malice

GS: Blocked and reported.

WA: do wolves eat fish?-

GS: They better not.

UK: >([w#at u gonna do if t#ey do #u# merman?]

GS: Spray bottle.

GS: Bought one a few weeks ago.

DQ: can*we*please*use*literally*any*of*the*other*memos?

DQ: Do*we*want*a*repeat*of*the*alligator*incident?

UK: >([Absolutely, Alligator fig#t got me so many subs] 

GD: Do you think murrit is cold he/\rted enough to count /\s a liz/\rd? ///

GD: Bec/\use I might just fight a reptile /\g/\in ///

UK: >([Love u 2 babe]

EO: Murrit i rΣad your chaptΣr and it sucks ass

UK: >([i am #aving a moment #ere]

UK: >([I’m gonna read ur c#hapter real quick]

[UK] is an idle chum!

WA: i saw some cute dogs today-

WA: didn’t get to take any pictures though-

SA: (i have some pictures of crows this morning)

GS: I have pictures of my bastard of an angler fish. 

PD: I would have pictures, but

PD: Lefty got out into the woods again!

WA: You need help finding em?-

PD: no i think i see them right now! (|:D

WA: is that why I the ground shaking?-

GD: No, I feel it to ///

FF: oh d don’t tell me

ME: Eye Believe it’s a rift

WA: ALREADY????????-

FF: c called it

PD: le sigh

DQ: everyone*get*to*the*safety*zones!

DQ: I*need*to*do*a*role*call!

DQ: @everyone

PO: ~I'm in +he safe zone

WA: on my way-

PD: i see it just ahead!

AH: XDXD i don't know where ellsee is XDXD

AH: XDXD But i'm heading over there XDXD

EO: also on my way

AH: XDXD thank god XDXD

GD: im gr/\bbing murrit /\nd jentha is with me ///

SA: (i'm with albion at the moment)

FF: im w with dismas

ME: eye am currently far away fr.o.m the rift s.o. I am safe.

GS: I'm also far away. I’m currently working at the aquarium.

DQ: have*you*found*Murrit*yet?

GD: no

FF: N not yet

[UK] is no longer idle!

UK: >([Ellsee ur fic sucked even more then mine w#at u on]

DQ: where*are*you

UK: >([at my #ouse, why tho?]

ME: L.o..o.k at the @s

UK: >([aw fuck! Again?]

GD: yes ///

GD: now get your /\ss to /\ s/\fe zone ///

UK: >([Roger t#at]

_______

Arcjec rushes to the safe zone. He’ll meet ellsee there

_______

And she's on her way too! Who? Ellsee of course! She speed walks, as not to lose all her stamina when she _really_ needs it. An imp flies past, The hero blood chasing after it. She takes a few pictures, and continues on to the safe zone. She Hears Blood grumble about common sense, which he's probably right about. But the aspects are pretty damn competent, that's for sure. She feels safe around them. She trusts them to protect people. She’s not sure if she could _ever_ do it. She’ll stick to fanfiction thank you very much!

God there's a lot of imps this time. There aren't any aspects that are close to her huh, but there are imps. God that’s a lot of imps. She tries to outrun them. Her feet pound into the ground. Her jacket flailing in the wind. This is what they need their energy for. A shadow jumps. An imp impales her through the side. And i **t hurts. ShΣ is ThΣ MagΣ of lifΣ. And it hurts.**

SHITFUCKASSMUCHBULGESUCKINGASSFUCKTEETHCOUCHPISSBOARDGAMEMOTHERFUCKING… And she's awake. She’s not grey. And she's wearing her robes. “Well, Fuck” She’s not a troll, **she is** **_not_ ** **a** **_troll_ **. They have their phone in their hand. She gazes over to the familiar font. A skorpe log! Pesterchum? What the hell happened to skorpe? She hurriedly reads over the current log. This is even more confusing now that they think about it. 

A creature attacks her. She Blasts it. There's _way_ to many of these things here. And they seem to be dropping game loot anyway. Wait game loot? She _definitely_ has to take care of these things now. 

_______

EO: how do you sΣarch things app 

AH: XDXD google???????? XDXD

EO: very hΣlpful thank you

DQ: Are*you*still*on*your*way?

EO: yΣs moving now

AH: XDXD are you alright? XDXD

EO: yΣp!

EO: no worriΣs!

EO: Im fast

Ellsee closes out of the app. GOD that was awkward! Okay. There should be a google thing here somewhere. right?

_______

Humans are weird. After spending roughly 15 minutes on this ‘android’ (while blasting the occasional imp) she's learned not a lot, but enough to know what a ‘safe zone’ and ‘aspects’ are.

There’s a shit ton of personal information on their phone. They keep their diary on here. Her address, her passwords for virtually every site she’s on, and photos galore of herself and her friends! There's even a photo of her this morning! On something called ‘Instagram’, their photo was out there for the world to see. Several in fact. She was _really_ active on a lot of these sites huh.

She still needs to get to the safe zone. Can she still fly? She gets off the ground in a quick springy jump. Yes! Apparently! She soars into the air. Ellsee pulls out her phone. Time to use the “google maps” thing. The safe zone is a few ‘blocks’ from here. 

Someone screams. Imps. Shit. She pulls her hood down. Time to be a superhero or something!

_______

She floats down into an alley right across from the safe zone. They still need to change out of their robes. Well there's an alternate set in her sylladex. She changes in an instant, and casually walks on over to the safe zone. She spots what she assumes is 'human' Arcjec. Same face, different skin. Right! The memo. They need to respond to that.

EO: Im H ΣrΣ!


	2. SCATTER!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellsee is awkward and twitch streamer nearly swears on live tv.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are WAY to many things in the og fic that need explanations. So ill try and leave a list before every chapter starts.  
> -Government rift Response teams exists and Is run by General Eric valiant  
> -Head scientist of the rift response team Is Wander ampora (Cronus and Eridan's uncle)  
> -Wander acts as a sort of mediator between the rift response team and the aspects.  
> -the government is not aware of Dave, John, Roxy, Jake, Or Karkat's identity  
> -The aspects have official social media that no one has been able to hack due to Roxy's voidyness and hacking skills.

The sound of bubbling, The squeak of marker on whiteboard, and the outstanding blare of the tv fill the room. 

_“This morning at roughly 8am during the latest rift, a shocking turn of events unfolded. What many suspect to be a new aspect was seen on camera and video to be attacking stray imps just a few blocks away from a safe zone. This person was spotted wearing beige, brown and green. Their hood was kept down at all times to hide any upper facial features._

_The aspects and government rift response team have yet to comment. Reporter Hokoku Genkou is live on the scene with an eye witness report from local twitch streamer Turnin Kaikai, more prominently known as xXturn_downXx”_

The shot of the news anchor changes to show Ms.Genkou and someone in a neon jumpsuit and a stylistic partially dyed mullet, infront of a local hipster coffee shop. Occeus turns his head to look at the screen _“Mx.Kaikai, what can you tell us about this possible aspect” Hokoku asks._

Turnin looks at the camera, a little surprised _“well you see I was heading over to the starbucks over by-”_

“ _I'm sorry, But Starbucks? Not the safe zone?”_ She interrupts. 

_“Well yeah. you seen my videos with the impromptu flamethrower? I have literally looked god in the eyes and insulted his fugly looking_ _crocs. I fear no one except that one lady who downed an entire bottle of redbull, dayquill, nightquill, and 5 hour energy smoothie when I was 5. She is also what I aspire to be. So yeah I went to Starbucks.” they shrug._

 _“Thank you, Mx. Kaikai.”_ She sighs. _“Can you please share details of the possible aspect encounter”._

_“Yeah so heading to starbucks right. There's imps near. I'm pretty fast and have great endurance. Then the Beige person floats on down and starts blasting em! I mean I've seen the aspects before and all, but there power was hella different.”_

_“Can you tell us the nature of the blast please?”_

_“It was glowly and sorta a limey green. The aspect just sorta blasted them you know? Like a fireball but green”_ Turnin mimics the blast. _“YAW! Sorta like that ya know?_ ”

 _“Yes, Anything else you can tell us about this vigilante?”_ She appears tired.

 _“Nah that’s all"_ The reporter looked relieved.

“Back to you Gazesh” The screen changes once again.

_“There are several questions left unanswered, Is this new vigilante really an aspect? Are they friendly, or is something more dangerous lurking? Tune in at 12:15 for more updates. Today also marks the 5th anniversary of the mysterious death of local casino owner and suspected crime lord Nisyre ‘acerigger’ Turkin. Quite an eventful day”._

Hmmm. And just like that it’s the weather. Occeus cleans up this morning’s work. There are much more important things to investigate.

** MacabreExude [ME] opened a memo! **

** MacabreExude [ME] invited 11 people to the memo! **

** ME: Eye h.o.pe y.o.u are all aware .o.f what has happened at this point? **

_______

“WHAT THE FUCK!” karkat screechs. He stomps around the base. “THIS ISN’T A PEIXES _OR_ JOHN’S GRUBFUCKING DANCESTOR! SO JUST WHO THE HELL ARE THEY?!” He throws his hands up in the air. “I DON’T FUCKING KNOW”

“We’re getting so many asks about this right now Karkles. How tf do we answer” Roxy asks. “John, you have any ideas?” John was currently staring off into the false distance, his mind wandering away from the current dilemma. “John? Johnny? you there?”

“Huh?” he was caught off guard.

“Roxy wants to know if you have any ideas about what to do about this lifey dude. Cause jake and I sure don’t” said Dave. 

“That’s quite true. I'm all out of ideas chum.” Jake sorrowfully adds.

“Well, FUCK” Karkat raises his hands in defeat

“I say we use the official aspect twitter and make a tweet about it”

“And say WHAT lalonde?!”

“We say sumthin like, ‘As of right now we aren’t in contact with this aspect. We have yet to confirm their identity, but they have dominion over the aspect of life. We will inform you if more information comes to light’” Roxy shrugs. “Sorta like that ya know?”

“The scientist guy, from the government and shit has been emailing us like crazy. Do we make an announcement first or talk to Wander about it?” Dave asks.

“Just send the tweet! No one else has any better ideas!” 

"sounds like a plan!" jake Agreed.

“K” Roxy began typing. The internet blew up once again.

________

“Arcjec! Hey!” Ellsee runs over waving their hand. This is definitely the right guy, Right?

“There you are! Jesus christ! Did you see the superhero?!” Arcjec ask excitedly

“The super what now? Like the aspects or something? Heheh?” She hasn’t gotten any better at lying at all.

“There's a NEW! FUCKING! ASPECT!” His smile is practically as big as this weird area a crazy person might call a room.

“R-REALLY? HA! THAT IS SO COOL!” Ellsee cheered awkwardly. Arcjec is far too excited by the prospect of another hero to notice the very blatant lying. From a young age Arcjec has enjoyed superheroes of any kind. The aspect’s new appearance only fueled it further.

“There’s already memes and theories about them! They’re trending everywhere right now!” Arcjec pulled out his phone. “xXTurn_downXx Did an interview on the corporate news channel! The new aspect’s power was said to be like fire or something!” Arcjec paused “is there a fire aspect?” Arcjec looked quizzically at his phone.

“Well there’s life, doom, breath, blood, hope, rage, light, void, heart, mind, space and time. So i don’t think that there would be a secret 13th aspect called fire.”

“They must be light then!” Arcjec pronounced. Ellsee was very close to facepalming. So tempting. Her hand was right there. And his deduction, so stupid.

“Why would a light aspect be wearing beige and lime?” maybe this will save her face from being brutally palmed to the face.

“Well why does time wear red huh? Colors don’t have to make sense” aaaaand there it goes. She double facepalms. Both hands on her face, not even _looking_ at Arcjec right now. 

“Well why does void create objects? Why can’t another aspect create fire?” Ellsee points out.

“Well why does time _time_ travel?” Arcjec countered. 

“Honestly i just want to get home and sleep. Your shitty arguments made me age 5 sweeps”

“Sweeps?” arcjec questions.

“Uhhhhh, Slang for a period of time?” Ellsee chuckles in an awkward fashion.

“Sounds like bullshit but i literally don’t care” Arcjec switches apps, And shows ellsee a picture of the new aspect. AKA, _Them._ “Anyway, Look at this!” God this is gonna be awkward for Ellsee.

________

** ME: Eye h.o.pe y.o.u are all aware .o.f what has happened at this point? **

** WA: Ye- **

** UK: >([i am so #yped] **

**AH: XDXD who** ** _hasn’t_** **at this point XDXD**

** EO: what’s going on¿ **

** UK: >([a new fucking aspect is w#hats going on] **

** ME: yes. **

** EO: oh that thing! **

** ME: eye am intrigued by this phen.o.men.o.n **

** EO: rΣally? **

** UK: >([u know occys being doing science s#it bout the aspects since day 1] **

** UK: >([course he’s intrigued] **

** WA: I managed to snatch a few pieces of grist- from today’s rift- **

** AH: XDXD stop going into the battlefield for god’s sake XDXD **

** ME: Despite the dangers eye appreciate your assistance with my research. **

** WA: no problem!- **

** DQ: well*at*least*you’re*using*the*correct*memos*this*time **

** SA: (did you see the tweet from a few seconds ago?) **

** PO: ~yeah~ **

** ME: eye have n.o.t **

** ME: eye will g.o. Read it. **

** GS: It’s rather concerning. **

** GS: Even the aspects aren’t sure what to make of this “life” person. **

** UK: >([bro c#ill, i’m already working with fandom heads to establish fanon] **

** UK: >([Ellsee w#at u doing rn?] **

** UK: >([#ead to the fic c#at so we can work our fandom magic] **

** EO: gimmΣ a minutΣ **

** ME: eye think the m.o.re c.o.ncerning issue is that .o.f what is this aspects exact intenti.o.ns **

** EO: BΣat up imps? Do supΣrhΣro things? **

** DQ: I*agree*with*occeus*that*we*must*be*cautious **

** DQ: Your*faith*is*admirable*Ellsee **

** DQ: But*we*still*don’t*know*what*their*true*intentions*are **

** ME: Yes **

** ME: It may be to ‘beat up imps’ **

** ME: But we are n.o.t yet sure .o.f it **

** PO: ~I would love +o punch an imp~ **

** DQ: please*don’t **

** SA: (im hoping they’re just as heroic as the rest of the aspects) **

** EO: You can count on it! **

** AH: XDXD hell yeah XDXD **

PD: I got lefty!

** WA: sweet- **

PD: The rifts scared em but they're doing better now!

** AH: XDXD Isn’t lefty the size of a car? XDXD **

PD: lefty isn't that big

PD: but pretty close (|:P

** FF: o once again **

** FF: furbies **

** FF: t they look into t the eyes of g god and see a m mortal infant **

** AH: XDXD terrifying, Thank you XDXD **

** UK: >([Wouldn’t it be fucked up if one of the types of underlings were furbies?] **

** AH: XDXD wouldn’t it be terrifying if I removed murrits hands? So he couldn’t type that sentence again XDXD **

** SA: (wouldn’t it be terrifying if i invented long furbies, but the long ness split up into eight spider legs?) **

** FF: y you speak my language **

** GD: ok/\y then /// **

** WA: I have some extra materials- **

** ME: a terrifying th.o.ught **

** GS: Keep that shit 4397639075937406 feet away from me. **

** UK: >(we making long furbies now?] **

** DQ: apparently **

** PO: ~how far can i throw i+?~ **

** FF: h how far can i it throw YOU is the q question **

** PO: ~not if i throw i+ firs+~ **

** SA: (I plan for it to be over 6 feet long) **

** UK: >([I will #elp] **

** FF: Grab s stuffing for it **

** WA: occeus- **

** WA: will you help us on this grave endeavour?- **

** ME: Eye suppose eye have s.o.me extra thread lying ar.o.und **

** UK: >([aw yea#] **

** UK: >([we’re doing this] **

** UK: >([we’re making this happen] **

** GD: Stop quoting ironic obscure webcomics /// **

** FF: D dismas **

** FF: shall y you participate i in this c challenge? **

** GD: yes. Is that e\/en a question you ask? /// **

** UK: >([ Group project!] **

** WA: That just leaves ellsee, arcjec, albion and calder- **

** WA: your thoughts?! **

** EO: I'm opting out **

** AH: XDXD ill help XDXD **

** GS: Get that haunted shit away from me. **

** DQ: i’ll*make*sure*nothing*gets*set*on*fire **

** UK: >([well ellsee isn’t going so u don’t need to worry bout that all that much lol] **

** EO: wat **

** UK: >([things spontaneously combust around u like spencer from icarly] **

** EO: okay???? **

** GS: I will be at the library not causing chaos. **

** UK: >([lame] **

** GD: The memo will always go off topic /// **

** PO: ~i+’s very rarely  ** **_on_ ** **+opic~**

** DQ: at*least*we*aren’t*using*the*emergency*memo*this*time **

** ME: Fair en.o.ugh **

** FF: m my house n next week? **

** DQ: Ill*be*there **

** ME: It fits with my schedule **

** UK: >([Yeah sure] **

** PD: Works for me! **

** WA: yeah i can head over saturday- **

** SA: (I have nothing planned that weekend as well) **

** PO: ~you be+ i'll be +here~ **

** AH: XDXD saturday works XDXD **

** GD: I literally live next door so ye/\h /// **

** GS: I will go to your house but only at a reasonable distance from every single, **

** GS:  ** **_furby_ **

** FF: so the s sidewalk? **

** GS: more or less. **

** ME: Ellsee? **

** ME: will y.o.u be attending? **

** EO: like i said ΣarliΣr **

** EO: sounds RΣALLY fun **

** EO: but i gotta opt out =:( **

** UK: >([w#ats with the equal sign] **

** EO: typo **

** UK: >([K] **

** FF: s so everyone (m minus ellsee) at m my house next s saturday **

** PO: ~+hats the common consensus~ **

** FF: see y you monday a at school then **

** furbishFacilitated [FF] has left the memo! **

** WA: See ya!- **

** windlessArtificer [WA] has left the memo! **

** PD: bye! **

** piladbleDecadence [PD] has left the memo! **

** UK: >([adios] **

** unclaspedKahuna [UK] has left the memo! **

** DQ: Farewell **

** demiurgeQuantified [DQ] has left the memo! **

** GS: goodbye. **

** grandoiseSaturation [GS] has left the memo! **

** AH: XDXD *absconds* XDXD **

** EO: *absconds also* **

** PO: ~jus+ leave the memo~ **

** animatedHumorist [AH] has left the memo! **

** existereOracle [EO] has left the memo! **

** gigantisDebilitation [GD] has left the memo! **

** sanguineAllegory [SA] has left the memo! **

** perniciousOverkill [PO] has left the memo! **

** macabreExude [ME] closed the memo! **


End file.
